The Sunday Snewz Issue No. 27
Discover more from Unapologetically Evie
The Sunday Snewz Issue No. 27
October 8th, 2023: Well Now, That's a First
I went to my first A.A. meeting this week. When I returned home from rehab two years ago this month, the idea that I would ever want a drink again was preposterous. Alcohol had been whittling away at my life and poking holes in the hearts of all the people around me for several years - drink again, never! I returned home in a state of pure bliss. Happiness I had never known in all my 48 years of life. Waking up each day with an entirely clear mind - no more wine fog draped over my head clouding my thoughts like the haze over Puget Sound. Free from irritability, anxiousness and the short-fuse all those who have ever had a hangover know well. Peaceful, quiet mornings with my coffee and prayers. Long walks with my dog in the sunshine or the rain, didn’t matter, it was all the same - enjoyable. I celebrated Thanksgiving without pairing a nice French White Burgundy with my turkey and decorated my house for Christmas for the first time in my adult life without a glass of bubbly in hand. I remembered everything that happened on New Year’s Eve and started the next year at peace with the idea of being sober for the rest of my life. Never once did I have a craving for alcohol and never once did I miss having a drink at the end of the day. I had spiritually transformed my life - I was free for the first time ever. When recovered alcoholics would say to me, “good job getting sober, now just don’t drink!” I was insulted. These people had no idea just how healed I was. I wasn’t white-knuckling the dashboard of life like all of these shleps - Fuck you, I’m different.
Then after a year of this new glorious life, there came a day when the hot, tropical sun and crisp white sheets of a Ritz Carlton king bed got me thinking….I am so in control and at peace in my life, there is no reason I can’t have a cocktail on vacation. I wasn’t the only one who thought this, so did everyone around me. I was healed - clearly not an alcoholic like all those other people who also got a DUI, went to treatment, let their health go to shit and became something they couldn’t recognize. Besides, doesn’t having a drink at a five-star hotel exempt you from having a problem? Alcoholics hangout at the Sunset Bar on Tuesday mornings on Appleway in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. You don’t find them here, sipping a Mai Tai, tanning their body with a novel and a Louis Vuitton beach bag!
Having a drink or two didn’t prove to be a problem but it did one thing - put alcohol back in my brain. Dinners out started to involve the idea that dinner wasn’t quite as good as it should be because - a filet isn’t quite as good without a glass of Bordeaux. Most times I didn’t give into the desire, but the desire was there nonetheless. Golfing was fun, but not as fun as it was with a BlackRock lemon-aid waiting for me in the cart and nagging ideas that my vacation wasn’t quite complete stowed away in my luggage. Little by little over the past 10 months, thoughts of drinking have re-entered my mind. While I consciously know my life is better without it, the romantic idea that drinking makes life better has been tap dancing in my head.
So this week I went to a place I thought was far below me - an AA meeting in an old church basement. I sat in a room full of gruff, leathered old men with names like George, Ralph, Don and Ron. Listened to stories of people who I had absolutely nothing, yet absolutely everything in common with. And for the first time since my first year of sobriety, I felt free again.
Turns out I’m not so different from all those people handing me unsolicited advise after all - “just don’t drink.”
I was wrong - now that’s a first!
It’s Gettin’ Hot In Here
I went to my first hot yoga class this week too. Look at me go! As someone well versed in the world of fitness, I’m fully aware that hot yoga is ripe for potential injuries. The heat allows you to stretch beyond where your body should really go. At 105 degrees Fahrenheit even the tightest linebacker can turn into Gumby. But because I’m so well versed in fitness, I know how to stay within my limits. And I have to say….it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. The smell of eucalyptus, the dark, warm but not overly hot room, only a handful of bodies lying peacefully on our mats - like doing some gentle stretching, while resistance training in a sauna. I looked like shit coming out of that easy bake oven but I felt like a million bucks!
Now if you don’t know much about your body and even less about fitness, take caution. The desire to stretch like you are 5 years old again, and attempting to mimic the back-bending spaghetti girl instructor will be the death of you. But if you know your body and are capable of checking your ego, give it a try.
Caffeine Cold Turkey
I also gave up coffee for the first time in my life this week. No particular health related reason, just proving to myself how strong I really am. There’s nothing like giving up something you love to prove to yourself what you are capable of. So while I love my morning cappuccino strong, I like myself strong even more.
Biden Bender
And because I added AA and hot yoga to my calendar, I had no time left over to investigate political matters. It’s a safe bet there were no firsts happening there anyway - same shit, different day.
Cluck Cluck Chanel
We got eggs baby! My French Black Copper Maran, Cluck Cluck Chanel laid her first egg this week. For those who aren’t familiar, the French Maran lays the world’s best culinary egg - the one eggs good enough for Martha Stewart and 007 - Bond, James Bond. Daniel (Craig) if you’re reading this, swing on by!
Cluck Cluck is awfully proud of herself and definitely letting her newly found fertility go to her head. Pecking at poor, pathetic Esther for coming near the plastic ball that holds their grubs. Roosting high above the other immature bitches below her like the Mennonite women with 5-8 children who have invaded St. Thomas Catholic Church. Looking down on us all saying, “look at me and my fertility, so much better than you.”
Three Bidens and a Fetterman
Do you remember back in the days when I used to rate books according to “dog ears?” That was fun by the way, maybe I should start doing that again.
This week I came across this rating system for the idiocy of posts and comments on Twitter. Genius.
One of my favorite quotes and something I repeat to myself at the start each day was spoken by Swiss Psychotherapist, Carl Jung - “Let no day pass without humbly remembering that everything has yet to be learned.”
What have you learned about yourself lately? If you haven’t had any firsts for quite some time, start getting to know yourself a little better.