The Sunday Snewz Issue No. 2
January 8, 2023: The letdown after the hype.
This week was spent being grateful for my health, but wishing I was well. “The second day of the year and I’m sick?” For fucks sake. Life really isn’t fair.
I had entirely too much to do to get sick this week but the bug got the best of me. You know the kind - when your taste buds revert back to the second grade and the only thing that sounds good is peanut butter toast. Even coffee makes you nauseous. Gasp!
On Monday, I figured I’d just lay low and finish reading a book I’ve been tackling for six months. Take a nap if needed and surely I would be back to my energetic self by Tuesday. Wrong.
By Tuesday I felt like I’d been running around the playground in freezing cold temperatures. As I peeled open my eyes, wondering if someone hit me in the head with a sledge hammer while I was asleep, it became apparent by the crust around my nose that I had suffered a night of the green elevens. A sauna was my only hope. I enjoy my infrared sauna. I can’t explain in much depth why it works but it does. My husband says it makes him horny. He can’t explain that in much depth either. I think it has something to do with the logo etched on the glass door. When laying down, it looks like a butthole spread wide and a nice, compact slit of a vagina below it. While standing upright it’s just a standard lotus but I think Sunlighten Saunas is up to the same subliminal tricks as Disney.
In the middle of the night on Wednesday, whatever was invading my body moved out of my nose and took up residence in my bones. Deep, guttural aches in every inch of my body. I couldn’t lay still so I got up and paced the floors. For fucks sake! As if touring the wine country of France, this uninvited guest was riding the railway within my body, making stops at all the major sights. First my head, then onto my bones. After a leisurely tour around my bone marrow, he headed off for my lower intestine. Threw a party in the depths of my bowel and finally setup shop in my lungs. Some short walks in the sunshine and crisp air, one more butthole peeping session aka sauna and by Friday I was feeling almost human again. A day of solid coughing and my little pathogen was finally evicted in a thick wad of mucus, down the drain. Farewell unwelcome visitor - and good riddance.
Getting sick is actually your body’s way of responding to harmful pathogens. A strong, metabolically functioning human body is responsive. When it detects invaders, it kicks in the necessary defenses to combat them. Coughing, sneezing, nasal discharge, body aches and fever are all signs your body is going to battle. Unfortunately, it’s inconvenient so most people take over-the-counter drugs instead of letting their body do its job. Big mistake. Your body is smarter than you. If you do insist in easing your symptoms, prepare to be sick more often than necessary.
Then there are those who brag at cocktail parties how they never get sick. Fitness junkies who look at you with disgust as you put an organic, whole wheat cracker in your mouth. Or sometimes just your aunt or coworker who feel the need to express their superiority over those who are weak and succumb to a colds. They actually don’t get sick and that’s not good. When your body is in a constant state of fight or flight, due to excessive stress, it won’t allow you to get sick. Your nervous system is on such high alert 24/7 trying to keep you alive that it wouldn’t dare let its guard down defending against a common cold. Unfortunately, never fending off pathogens means at some point your body won’t be able to. Eventually, the talk at cocktail parties turns to “can you believe he got cancer? He was never sick.” Yes, yes I can.
I’m actually happy I got sick this early in 2023. I’m just getting it out of the way.
Remember, all the best laid plans in your life will never come to be without your health. Don’t neglect it.
Do these 5 things everyday:
Get sunlight on your face and fresh air in your lungs.
Sleep for 8 hours, uninterrupted in a cool, dark room.
Work up a sweat. Dance, walk, run, lift weight - move your body in ways you find enjoyable.
Laugh. Your health is directly correlated to your level of happiness.
One positive about being sick is you get to read without feeling guilty that there is something more important you should be doing. I read David Sedaris’ new book, Happy-Go-Lucky, which made me laugh out loud, as well as inspired my own writing. I read it but this is one of those books that may even be better in audio format. His voice adds a new level of enjoyment to his writing.
On the other end of the literary spectrum, I read When the Dog Speaks, the Philosopher Listen by Nigel McGilchrist. This book is a masterpiece exploration of Pythagoras, of humanity and wisdom, and also a beautiful book, worthy of adding to your collection. After reading, I added Samos, Greece to our summer trip itinerary for August.
The World Boxing Council made an official ruling this week, banning biological men from beating up women in the ring. For those of us who have long held the belief that men beating up women just isn’t right for some reason, it’s tough to get excited about what should be obvious. But, I’ll take it. This whole biological males competing in sports against biological females has always left me with one over riding question: If trans-activists really believe biological men do not possess an advantage over biological females in sports, why don’t we see a flood of biological women who have transitioned their gender, competing against biological males? You know why - because they’d get their asses kicked.
Let this be a lesson to anyone seeking support of your cause - don’t ask us to deny reality.
In his never ending attempt to be left alone, Prince Harry released his book, Spare. The only thing I can say is that he chose the title appropriately. If only he could have spared us all of its existence. There are some stories that you just have to sacrifice an hour of your time to read the comments on and this was one of them.
“If this was many other countries, the brothers might well have shot each other. As it is, some dry goods got damaged.” -Julie Burchill, The Spectator
"Goodness Fuck! For the love of all fucking sanity, could you people talk about ANYTHING else. Even talking about paint drying would be a refreshing change of pace from this monumental fucking shit show.” -Alex B., A South African in North Yorkshire (from Instagram)
It appears Alex B. is at the edge of the anger scale. Perhaps I should send him this week’s editorial article, It’s Time to Let Go of the Anger.
In case you missed it, all of my articles are now available in audio format. I have to admit, this adds a tremendous amount of work for me so I was delighted to receive the overwhelmingly positive feedback. You seem to be loving it. My goal is to give you something short, yet impactful to listen to as you go for a walk or during your commute. I’ll do my best not to disappoint.
I couldn’t bear to stay on top of political news this week - I was already sick, how much can one person be expected endure? Instead, I turned to my good friends over at the Babylon Bee to get their take on current events. My top three picks are as follows:
Because of you, I get to wake up every day and do what I love - write. Well, I would write no matter what, but it’s always nice to have someone read it. To make your experience even better, be sure to download the Substack App. The app allows you to access content on your home screen without going to your email inbox and it gives you a slick audio platform to listen to The Sunday Snewz, my podcast, Unapologetically Evie and featured articles.
