Light and Dark

The closer I get to the Light, the more I see my shadow

I had a realization this week, that it is through the obstacles in my life that I could not do it on my own, that I found a deeper union with God. I’m strong and have had to be self sufficient since as long as I can remember. There isn’t much I cannot overcome - maybe this is why I have had the trials I had in life. If I only ever dealt with things that I alone could overcome, how would I gain a deeper reliance and willingness to surrender?

German Jesuit Karl Rahner (1904-1984) said (as best as it can be translated into English) As you uncover God’s loving truth, you uncover your own, and as you uncover your own truth, you fall deeper into God’s mercy and love.

Alcohol is a battle which I cannot conquer on my own. I overcame neglect and trauma as a child. I overcame loneliness, suicidal ideations, and despair. I overcame the death of my beloved daughter. With God’s help, no doubt, but it wasn’t until I faced the battle of addiction that I’ve completely accepted my shadow. And it wasn’t until I got closer to the Light that I could see this shadow clearly.