I’m going to do something I never do - share one of my journal entries with you.
I write in my journal each and every morning. While I generally abhor routine, I adhere to a strict morning one in order to capture my day before the outside world grabs hold of it and tosses it into the spin cycle of an industrial sized washing machine. I wake early, drink 15 ml. of apple cider vinegar diluted in 12 oz. of water, do a quick 5 minute middle-aged, western white woman version of tai chi (picture an NFL lineman doing ballet and you’ll get a good visual) and then walk my dog. Upon return, I pour my coffee and head out onto my front porch - two meditational books, my daily journal, favorite pen and Shit I can’t remember journal (for gathering useful thoughts for my book) in hand. I read and recite the prayers I wrote for myself and then repeat out loud my intentions for the day. I have four intentions and depending upon my mindset, I say them at least 3 times but as many as it takes for me to get my rambunctious puppy brain to sit, stay and be a good boy. (Note I didn’t pick up my phone yet. If you were wise, you too would avoid that crack-like addictive device at the start of the day.)
This past week I had retirement on the brain. My husband and I don’t think of retirement in the same fashion most Americans think of it. We have zero desire to slug our way through the most youthful years in order to go sit somewhere the sun shines more often to wait out the impending demise of our existence. That’s a hard no - thank you very much. I have one life and it surely isn’t going to be lived according to what a society says is normal. The same society that says massive debt, zero savings, obesity, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, chemical abuse and medications are normal. My thought process on life is while it certainly has seasons, it is one story meant to be created as such. Not something broken into two acts: the hell years of sacrifice and the budgeted, boring years of old age. I have concrete ideas of what I want my life to look like - not in retirement, but everyday. This prompted me to have a written dialogue with myself that went like this…
What would the perfect day look like to you, Evie? Waking up early to the view of the ocean or to a wide-open mass of gardens and green pasture. Enjoying my coffee while reading my daily meditations and writing in my journal. Walking my dog and visiting a coffee shop where everybody knows me by name. Cooking breakfast - I love the smell of breakfast foods cooking. Working out so long as I can do cool things like handstand pushups and pull-ups and listening to a podcast while I tinker around my garden. Do some reading and then work on my next book. Visit an antique rose garden or maybe an art gallery and listen to live music. Play around a bit at a creative endeavor like painting or drawing before taking a short nap. Have a beautiful, healthy dinner prepared for me by someone I enjoy having around my home to help me out and exchange in meaningful conversation (I hate making dinner and the clean-up it involves.) Go for another walk before reading and crawling into my crisply ironed sheets for bed.
Close your eyes, Evie. Where does this day happen? Who shares this day with you? What are you currently doing that doesn’t fit into this picture? What is required of you right now to enjoy this perfect day for as long as possible?
At the end of this powerful exercise, I had a few amazing realizations. First and foremost, I live something very close to my perfect day already. Aside from the ocean or wide-open spaces view and the help with cooking dinner, I’m living the dream right here and now. Damn girl - nice work. I went on to contemplate the answers to the questions I posed to myself and was surprised by how simple the answers were.
My husband will share these days with me because lucky for me, his perfect day looks nearly identical to mine.
I’m currently publishing my first book which will build an audience to make my books a financial success. Notice I said financial success. My books are successful no matter who reads them because they are a personal accomplishment, but book sales make for financial freedom. (There are distinct differences in types of success and the implications of each vary greatly. All success is not gauged by financial results. Look around, there are plenty of monetarily successful people who hate their lives. Likewise, there are plenty of people who do what they love but live in a constant financial struggle. I highly recommend tackling both.)
Running Copow is necessary for now to both fulfill my mission to improve the lives of others through food and establish the financial reserve necessary for me to have the properties and help I need to live out my plans. The day will come for me to sell my interest so I am always looking for opportunities in that regard too. The two other business ventures I am currently working on will fulfill a financial need and also establish an opportunity for my daughter to have a foundation to build her future upon. All of which serve a direct purpose in the big picture of living my ideal day as long as possible.
What I currently do that doesn’t fit into my big picture is quite easy to recognize - social media. While a presence online is helpful in building an audience, to the extent I partake it is a detriment. I ruminate on the unknowns of businesses from time to time which is neither productive or helpful but aside from that, I have few things interfering with my day.
What is also necessary for me to live this perfect day as long as possible is to remain healthy. One severe illness and days of peaceful living are swept away like a sand dollar in high tide. This means I need to eat the things I know are beneficial to me and stave off the whims to indulge in gluttonous behavior. Reduce stress through prayer and meditation, like I do and avoid the trap of infecting my mind with hate and division.
The truth is, the perfect day is quite simple to achieve but most people don’t even know what their perfect day looks like. As you can see here, it isn’t something you long for in the future. It isn’t something you sacrifice your youthful years to obtain. It is something you actively create each and every day. If you think your life is going to change because you no longer work the day job you’re currently working, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you are in for major disappointment. Your perfect day doesn’t show up because you no longer go to an office. It doesn’t magically appear because you can access your 401K or you get your social security check. It doesn’t materialize because the temperatures stay above 70 degrees and it doesn’t emerge when your kids are on their own.
Your perfect day is attainable right here and now. That doesn’t mean you will be free from factors that gouge your time and energy - those things will never cease to exist. But you have the opportunity to take control of creating your life. Don’t wait until a time society says it’s appropriate to do what you love. Create your perfect day everyday. It’s well within your power to do so and speaking from personal experience, there’s nothing better.
Thank you for the lovely reminder to do the serene activities I can take advantage of right now, every day. I do not NEED to come home and and crash, after work and yoga, I can go walk on the Potomac after, like I enjoy on weekends, even if only for 20 mins, to rejuvenate my soul. Headed to Belle Haven park from the metro tonight! Yes, in a dress and heels (sneakers in tow in my car trunk). 🕊