Daily Truth Jan. 4, 2022
Self-esteem is something you earn, it's not magically granted to you by others.
Whoever thought the ass-backwards idea that we should have high self-esteem without any effort to justify our existence was a good idea? Only someone who has no clue how the human psyche works, that's who.
In a world where suicide is the second leading cause of death in males under age 25 (just recently surpassed by Fentanyl overdoses), these statements may seem heretical. Really? I'm going to tell people to have less self-esteem, when suicide has become common place? Yes, I am.
Maybe thinking highly of yourself, without doing anything at all with your life leads to a sense of worthlessness. I am not attempting to say this alone is the reason for skyrocketing rates of suicide, that would be naive as the reasons are complex and far beyond my pay grade; but I can tell you human beings are wired for adversity and purpose. Without purpose, it is awfully difficult to justify the suffering life involves.
I was parenting my daughter through early adolescence during the age of "build your kid's self-esteem", and "everyone gets a trophy just for showing up." Thankfully I've never been swayed by the masses and never adhered to those parenting principles. Nor do I now, parenting her through her teenage years. Simply waking up in the morning doesn't make you a good person. Merely existing isn't reason to feel proud of yourself. Behaving in a way such that you live with meaning, explore your natural talents and lend something useful to the world around you is reason to hold yourself in high self-regard.
The word esteem by definition means respect and admiration. What do you admire? Who do you hold with much respect? Things and people who simply exist? Of course not. You admire and respect those people and things whom serve a greater purpose. Things that leave you feeling inspired or maybe just content and happy to be around because they emanate goodness. Things that took hard work, and miraculous levels of ingenuity to create. People who show dedication and unrelenting drive. Those deserve respect and admiration.
This is how you earn respect and admiration for yourself. You don't just wake up with it. You do things to make yourself proud. Hard things; things that fulfill your purpose and make life worth living, regardless of all the pain and suffering it involves.
This is what you teach your kids. If you want them to have self respect, teach them to do admirable things. Hold them accountable and encourage them to do what is difficult. Let them know their life matters and although finding their purpose is going to be hard, it's worth every ounce of work involved. Don't rob them of finding their purpose by telling them the lie that just "being" is good enough. Don't try to make their lives easier, make them stronger!
Stop trying to make your own life easier and make yourself stronger. Do the things you are scared to do. Chase the dreams you will encounter failure after failure to achieve. Make yourself proud.
Earn your self-esteem.
If you enjoyed this article, you will want to listen to this episode of EML Radio: https://eviefatz.com/2021/07/29/ep-81-we-are-deprived-of-deprivation/