I started writing my own daily prayers when I went away to address some of my own garbage a few months back. Just like Hallmark cards, I've always felt most standard prayers I was taught as a kid were somewhat trite and I was never able to connect to them spiritually. That's not to say they aren't powerful, and a tremendous source of goodness for a lot of people. It's just that they don't resonate with me. I do not give people store bought cards for this same reason; it is extremely rare to find a card that would use the language I would use to express my feelings. Likewise, it is rare for me to find a standard prayer that allows me to connect deeply to God.
So I thought I would try my hand at writing my own prayers. I took pieces of prayers, quotes and other inspiring writings I have read and created my own. Words that express my deepest struggles, allow me to connect to God, express my most sincere gratitude and ask for humility. Here is one of the prayers I wrote, that I repeat each day:
"My creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I accept every single character defect as part of my human condition. I pray that you remove any arrogance to my shortcomings, so I do not allow them to stand in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do your bidding."
Recognizing our shortcomings is essential to being the best person we can be. If we aren't acknowledging them, we aren't on a corrective path. If all we do is focus on them, we aren't seeing all of the good we have within us. It is a delicate balance of acknowledging our good, while accepting our flaws. Both are essential elements of who we are.
Rather than hiding from our faults, or obsessing about changing them, we need to learn to accept them. That doesn't mean we give ourselves a free pass to ignore them, it merely allows us to be aware of them and do constructive work around managing them. Look at your shortcomings and ask questions like, "where are these coming from?" "How am I acting out my shortcomings in the world?" "How can I dampen my weaknesses and build upon my strengths?"
A prayer in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book asks for God to "remove all of my shortcomings." I don't like this. Not only does it seems impossible, but it also seems as if I would be asking for a part of who I am to be removed. Rather than asking God to remove my shortcomings, I'd rather work towards self-awareness and self-control to manage them.
Waiting for all of our shortcomings to be removed seems to me a pretty ridiculous path to take in becoming better and I'm afraid I would be waiting forever. Instead, I will focus on learning all I can about every part of me, the good and the bad. Then take action, with God's help, to manage all of the traits I have been given.