This is my favorite line from the book, Crime and Punishment. In part six, the inspector, Porfiry is attempting to convince Rashkolnikov to turn himself in; telling him he will not miss his things or being seen for a long time while in prison, because of his current state of torment. The torment in his soul will not go away without facing his crime. He encourages him to free his conscience by becoming the sun, doing what is right, and although he will be locked away, everyone will see him.
The words of Porfiry in this entire passage are quite possibly some of the most powerful words in literary history, depicting the necessity to live right by God or your conscience.
While clearly the vast majority of us are not going around murdering people, we are committing crimes against our own humanity on the daily. We riddle ourselves with guilt, shame, self destructive behavior of all sorts: neglecting our diet, taking poor care of our physical fitness, depriving ourselves of sleep, drinking or eating to excess, wasting endless hours on the internet, procrastinating, failing to follow our dreams…the list is endless. Like Rashkolnikov, we aren’t enjoying our comforts and we aren’t being seen by the world, because our hearts are not set straight. We run from our mistakes and regrets, in hope our spirit won’t remind us, but it always does.
We set ourselves right in the world by accepting personal responsibility for our lives. Nothing and nobody can set you straight but you. The point lies in you, not time; not in your family, not in your friends, not in your coworkers, employer or the government. The responsibility lies within each of us alone.
Accept responsibility for your life no matter what. No matter who wrongs you, how unfairly you’ve been treated or how downright unfortunate your position is in life, you can overcome it.
Be seen by everyone by shining so brightly they cannot help but see you. Be so good at your job that you cannot be ignored. Be so eloquent with your words that people cannot help but listen. Take so much pride in what you do that others have no choice but to take notice. Be willing to face the crimes you commit against yourself, so the light of your soul cannot be dimmed.
In the words of Porfiry Petrovich, “the sun must be the sun first of all.”
When the sun is shining, you have no choice but to see it. Be a sun so everyone can see you.