We are living in the age of self-help. Anyone not working on improving their life should take a hard look at their complacency. Why don't you want to be a better person? Asking this question is powerful because there are only two answers...
I don't want to do the work. This will sound more like, "I'm too busy," "it's too expensive," or "all those self-help people are phonies." (which is true in some cases but not all of us are full of shit.)
I'm already perfect the way I am.
Which is it? Do you think you're already flawless or are you avoiding the work?
My guess is you don't think you're perfect. Most of the time, we don't work on improving ourselves because deep inside, we feel unworthy. That requires therapy and I am not a therapist, so I'll leave that topic alone.
If we finally start believing in ourselves, we realize there is so much to change we don't know where to start. We're overwhelmed by all the work and we freeze. We've all been there. We have a million things on our to-do list, we look at it, experience a rush of anxiety and pick up our phones and start scrolling Instagram. When we have a list of 50 things to fix it's difficult to know where to start.
This is where the "tool-master" comes into play. The self-help junkies. These people have read all the books, gone to all the "rah-rah" conferences, and joined all the Facebook groups. They listen to podcasts from sun-up to sun-down, buy journals, and fancy stickers and pens, in case they ever sit down to write in them.
Tool-masters aren’t limited to the self-help world. They are gathering tools in every corner of life.
In my days of gym ownership, I had plenty of tool-masters cross my threshold. These guys were always the most enthusiastic clients during the initial consult. They had "finally come to a place where they were sick of being out of shape." Their first workout, they showed up with all the fancy gear. Tall socks. Remember, I owned a CrossFit gym. Shin-guards to protect their shins when they start olympic lifting. A weight belt, cuz ya know, you're going to be lifting heavy on your first day. Those who were ultra-prepared even had athletic tape for the blisters they would be getting from doing 100 pull-ups.
A gym bag full of equipment meant one thing - they would be nowhere to be found two weeks from now.
The lady tool-masters in the gym usually showed up in the newest Lululemon print, matching hair-tie and all. They looked fantastic, the 5 days they came to the gym before cancelling their membership via email.
There is always a tool-master on construction sites too. He is easy to spot. You find him walking around grabbing tools for all the senior guys on the site who are working. He's so helpful. Always willing to grab a hammer, switch out that screwdriver and chase down the 2x4 you need. Before long, you find him sitting, swigging his Rockstar Energy drink and looking at his phone. Gathering all those tools for everyone else who is working takes it out of you. I grew up on construction sites, that's why I know this first hand.
I recently caught myself being a tool-master. I am in the thick of publishing my first book and found myself frozen when it was time to write the introduction. (chapters often come before introductions when you're writing because the intro. brings the work together)
Staring at a blank page, I turned to the internet to look at all the glorious writers ahead of me in their careers. I searched "how to write a book introduction," as if I don't already know how to write one. I thumbed through books in my library to compare how crappy mine would be in comparison to theirs. I caught myself after wasting a few hours, sat myself down and starting typing. An hour later, Les Mise´rables Do You Hear the People Sing blasting from my office, I wrote something beyond which I thought possible.
Tools are necessary but they don't replace the actual work. You can read all the books but you have to take action on what you learn. You can meet and greet with all the famous gurus but the selfie isn't going to change your life. That part is up to you.
Keep learning. Keeping seeking inspiration from people are who living what they teach. But don't let it replace the work.
You are worthy.
If you want help taking action, join me here.